Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
