a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
