She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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