He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
