all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You are the jesus of drinking
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
