Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
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