is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
