Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
