Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize