I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
