Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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