'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
