we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
either way he was missing a nipple.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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