im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
