i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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