If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
