Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
