so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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