Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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