What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
