Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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