just tell him i said nine months
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize