I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
