she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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