I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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