I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
