let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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