Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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