i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
