there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
