you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
