hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
