Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
