I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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