You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
