hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
