What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
