I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I will die if light touches me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
