I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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