So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
