ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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