A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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