you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You smell like stripper and shame
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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