Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
