If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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