Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
