My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
