I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
