so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
