Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
