So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
