The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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