I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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