i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
