): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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