I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize