you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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