Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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